Sunday, August 30, 2015

Left-over-comers

Do I have to eat it?
Sitting at the table squirming. Staring a the fork
with a lump in my throat. The thing looking at me is intimidating. The thought of it entering my body sends shivers of repulsion all over my body. The voice screaming from the kitchen breaks the silence as I sit sweating feeling sick and feverish. I don't want to eat it. But the voice blares, “You ain't getting up from that table until you finish everything!” “If you hide it I'm gonna spank you!” The voice jibes. The abomination moves toward my mouth, sweat dripping from my brow is like Jesus in the Garden saying, “Father not my will but thy will be done.” Then you think, “Not her will either.” I cry, “Mom, I don't wanna eat it. I'm gonna throw up.” “YOU THROW UP AND YOU”LL GET THE SPANKING OF A LIFETIME”The voice booms back. My Father walks by, “Boy you still ain't ate that yet? It's been an hour since dinner. Com'on now finish up!” Oh how I hated those days! They called it a battle of the wills. I didn't know anything about that, all I knew was I didn't want to eat that abomination. The smell even to this day sends a shiver down my spine and my gag reflex starts twitching.


Today, I still have this mentality of finishing everything on my plate. But I have added my kids food as well. I have become so good at powering down the impossible that I can even do that with my kids food. I have a hard time forcing my kids to eat things they appall. I see them sitting there with tears in their eyes pleading with me, “Daddy, please help me?” I look both ways left and right and I pop the abomination down the hatchet and with a shiver it's gone. Mom walks into the room and sees the once teary eyed child beaming with pride declaring, “It's all gone mom.” She looks at me and sees my sheepish face. “Did you eat that.” I can't even get the words out before I get scolded. I don't have an eating disorder. I am very orderly and dutiful to eat everything on my plate... and
This is not real food!
whatever is on anyone else's plate nearby. My favorite movie quote is from Ratatouie where a fat mouse is eating moldy bread and the skinny mouse says, "You realize you're eating moldy bread? How do you do that" The fat mouse says, "Hey once you get past the gag reflex it opens up all kinds of possibilities." This has yielded me an obese lifestyle. I'm not a snacker. I'm not a big dessert man. I am a dutiful eat everything plus man. The types of foods I eat now are very unhealthy and filled with preservatives. I have mastered the art of masking the abomination to make it a most amazing delicacy. Usually, Kewpie mayo or Ketchup or hot peppers. Moving to Japan was quite a shocker for me as the Japanese eat many abominations that have nothing but it's own flavor. To baptize things in soy sauce is social suicide. It is rude to doctor up someone else's cooking. I like to reach for the salt and salad dressing. But they endeavor to enjoy many foods in their Au-natural state. Blech! American's kill sushi. They have no idea how to eat it. The soy sauce is just to flavor the fish meat slightly. When you soak the rice in soy sauce you have destroyed the sushi. The Sushi chef takes great pride in his Rice. The rice is the main ingredient not the fish. The vinegar rice with sugar is a special blend not too sweet not to astringent. Anyway, don't soak your rice in soy sauce. Although, I still do. 
              Today's folks have many eating disorders. America is an obese nation. We are obsessed with satiating the pie hole with junk. Even healthy food many of it is junk. I read an article about prepackaged salad's that have double the salt and preservatives as a Big Mac meal at McD's. Each of us has a story to tell. My mother was strict but I'll tell you she was a great mom. I love her very much. I'm not angry at her she did her best. I too try to do my best with my kids will they write about my methods someday perhaps. 

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Wednesday, January 7, 2015